Phin's Economic Activism

I recently received the following letter from Phin Sprague, a local boatyard owner and promoter of the Maine Boatbuilders Show.

“ Phin’s economic activism…please bare with me.

“Dear Win,

“For a number of years I have resolved that Maine had the talent and was going to be the center of the custom boat world and we should be considered an industry and something that should be nurtured and protected. I am doing something about this goal and I am asking for your help…”

Phin went on to say that he was trying to get politicians to take the marine industry seriously, as they should, and to that end I would be receiving a letter from Bush Cheney 2004 campaign over his signature, urging me to sign up and give heavily, because that’s how we would get access. He wound up by saying:

“In begging forgiveness in ADVANCE OF THIS CAMPAIGN LETTER, I AM ASKING YOU TO CONSIDER BEING A FORCE (us) TO BE RECONED WITH. Please read between the lines, sign up if you think you can. When I find out who signed up I will start to push visits to your facilities or whatever seems most appropriate. You will be the host, they will know your name and you will get the thank you and you will have access.

“Cheers!

“Phin Sprague, Jr.”

Dear Phin,

I must admit that at first I was a little taken aback by the heading of your letter. Just what was it that you were planning for us to bare?! Just what kind of economy did you want to activate? Only when I got to the part about being re-coned did I see what you were really proposing.

What a clever idea! I am totally in awe. (Read between the lines, indeed.) I sincerely hope our group signs up en mass so that we can attract from the highest ranks of the administration – if not the President and Vice President themselves, then at least the Attorney General or the Secretary of Defense.

Once we’ve convinced them of our bona fides, we can lure the Bush-Cheney lackeys into a visit to our ‘facilities’. Then, we can administer the coupe de grace: run Beldar and Prymatt right into the stall with them. Those inimitable Conehead antics will surely provide just the right antidote to their incipient constipation.

Yes, yes, sign me up. Twill be a noble thing, to bare…the cones! They will certainly know my name after that! Econeominc activism at its best.

Best regards,

Win